Lonely . . .
I feel trapped in a tiny room,
all alone, with no doors
Every perceived exit has only brought failure,
and more lonely days and weeks.
every fibre and molecule within
screams for companionship,
to know and be known...
To have a shoulder to lean on,
a friend to laugh with, a
lover to love...
I want someone to come home to,
to trade loving touches,
hugs, a familiar squeeze.
A warm body beside me at night,
throbbing with the
Someone to sit with me, wrapped in blankets
before a fire on a cold
Someone to look at the stars with and dream;
to walk down a beach at
sunset and share
the beauty of creation...
But instead, I'm forced to choose,
Between a path of
and a path of death.
The loneliness aches within me...
I keep busy, running,
trying to fill the emptiness,
stop the hurt,
drown out the bitter music
But the running eventually stops,
the music falls silent,
And I find myself alone with a 'self' I hate.
Is death the only way out?
I thought so once before,
but fear the time I believe so again...
Can I ever truly like myself?
Or does that depend on the shifting sand
of public opinion?
Silence and loneliness I have come to fear.
I run from you, but you hound me,
I turn a corner and find
Waiting to sink your claws into me once again.
I try and confront you, seek you out, to defeat you,
But you are stronger than
I and once again win the day.
I weep before You, my God! I cry out for an escape,
an answer, a
I wrestle for my salvation...
But You are silent.
The hope I thought I'd found withers up and dies
in hands that still cling
in a death grip,
Still hoping, yet already given up.
You say You came to set the captives free,
To give sight to the
Hearing to the deaf...
Yet here I stand, in a world of darkness,
Unable to hear Your voice,
Trapped within this lonely room.
Then Your quiet voice whispers peace,
And I try again.