Why, God, Why?
That was exactly the question I used to ask God for too long a time. Why me, God? Why? It seems that you made my life much more troubled than most -- deliberately. Was it my fault?
It made my life dark as hell. But after some time I realized that instead of asking. "Why?" I should ask, "What for?" I should ask, "What is the purpose of what is happening? What are You trying to tell me through this?" It made a difference to me and it will make a difference to you also. You will become able to listen -- and God will ultimately explain to you many things that you are not able to understand right now.
It is easy to blame. But try to look at this from another perspective. God has His own plan for every single soul on the earth. And I am sure that He is especially close to ones who suffer, even if it seems like He is the One who is causing the suffering. What is the plan for you? Ask God and He will answer you. But please, please don't lose the ability to listen. This is my only hope for the future.
We often say that we need to accept other people 'as they are'. We also need to accept God as He is. Why? Because far too often we accept one thing (usually a pleasant one) from God and fail to accept another, tough one. We make an image of a "pocket God" who is supposed to do what we like -- and not do what we don't like. And after some time of such 'relationships' with this so-called God, we find ourselves not able to see Him as a person. Instead we treat Him as if he were a "miracle-stick" (In European folklore you just take the miracle-stick out of your pocket, ask it to do something, and it does it - and then - back to the pocket). But He is not like that. He is a Person -- and the Person who is good for us, even though we not always see how this works.
May this thought comfort you, as it has comforted me. God is good -- and He has a very special plan for you and me. If we don't understand it, let's ask Him and listen. He will answer when the time is right.
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