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Because I Love You
by Ralph Seland
When one of our gay GLOWfriends
subscribers wrote of his frustration with God -- that God had not taken
his "burden" and that He could not carry it himself, I was
haunted by the thought for days. Simple answers are just too simplistic to
answer such a heart cry. But I recalled an experience of my own that made
a profound impression on me many
years ago. |
One morning when I was working on the farm, I started to feel depressed. As time moved on, the depression got worse and worse, and I began to wonder what was the cause. I noted that I had about five jobs on the go, and hadn't finished any of them. Could this be the cause? So I went to work and tied up the loose ends. By time I was done, I was more than depressed; I was sick and getting sicker by the minute. I headed to the house which was a few rods away and opened the door. I said to Lynn, I'm sick, please open the bed. I got out of my work duds somehow crawled in before I completely collapsed. I had a high fever and I was moaning in pain, almost delirious. That lasted for what seemed like hours.
I remember Lynn leaning over the bed and crying. When I asked why she was crying, she replied, Because I love you.
Although we had been married for years, I sometimes wondered just how deep her love was for me. But then I knew. Those tears meant more to me than any closeness we had ever experienced. I knew without a doubt that she truly loved me.
Maybe I understand God's true love when I realize that He also cries. Be it over a friend whom he will soon raise from the dead, or a city that shuns his call, or over me when I am in pain, I can see His tears that express a deep love.
If the hard-drive of my computer had emotion, it would crash for it carries so much pain. Yet God feels it all; He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities.
He understands when we are gripped with a rage against things that are entirely unjust.
He understands when we lash out at Him, and gently reminds us, An enemy hath done this.
He understands when we self-medicate, trying to solve our problems by our devising, only to find that we have made matters worse.
He is touched with our pain and I believe that the Creator of the universe cries for us because He loves us so much.
Probably Jesus is as frustrated as we are that He can't make everything better right now. But He gives us the promise that His Grace is big enough to hold us when we are lower than a snake's belly and have done everything wrong. In just a little while He will be able to say, Behold I make all things new.
In the meantime, He weeps with us and whispers, I cry because I love you. With that assurance we can face problems that are too big for us.
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Last modified 10 May 2010 08:06 PM